yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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