We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
