But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
