I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So many bounce houses so little time
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
