Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
True strength comes from lack of pants
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
