either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
