I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
