I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
