We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
