remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
