I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
