wrigley field is MILF paradise
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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