She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
