would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
