My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
