she takes plan B like it's going out of style
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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