i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
