I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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