Screwed.edu
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
