I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
