Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
