Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
