I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
