We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
