well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
