pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He? As in you personified your dick?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
