i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we made out on top of his cat.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
