dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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