Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
