I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
