you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
