You're my little dorito
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
