Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am puke
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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