How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
