i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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