Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i dont even know how to be here
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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