Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
