i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i would punch a child for taco bell
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
