Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
