My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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