I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
