I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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