last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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