I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
