so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
