Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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