just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
