Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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