It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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