We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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